| Where have all the manners gone? Three things give | | | | fundamentalism, of current political, intellectual and |
| rise to my query. First, the failure of folks day by | | | | cultural debate. I'd like to think so, anyway. I'd like to |
| day to just say thank you for an act of kindness or | | | | think that, just as Malcolm Gladwell's The Tipping |
| generosity. Second, as reported in the New York | | | | Point ushered in an optimistic new way to think |
| Times recently, the dilapidated sportsmanship of | | | | about change, we are ready for a brand new |
| more than the usual handful of spoiled Olympic | | | | territory where civility governs passion, where people |
| athletes who just can't grasp how they could lose or | | | | are free to think for themselves and where we |
| why bible-thick Omaha steaks aren't steaming away | | | | actually listen to and consider alternative points of |
| on every streetcorner in Turin. For heroes like them. | | | | view. A non-left, non-right territory capable of fresh |
| And third, the rancorous mooing between herds that | | | | ideas. Less emphasis on being cool or on being |
| is the picture of current cultural discourse. Did | | | | righteous, those identical twins, and more on being |
| someone say fair mindedness? What purple critter | | | | interesting. See, good manners have a very |
| are you? A left-wing pundit (could just as well have | | | | pragmatic, even avant-garde potential. They open up |
| been a conservative one) recently extolled the virtue | | | | fresh space for new ideas, new ways of thinking. |
| of passion while defending an instance of clearly | | | | They usher in that most radical of subversives, |
| barbaric personal assault. We have a new it word, I | | | | optimism. If someone is polite to you, you listen. |
| suspect. Passion. A blanket exoneration of every kind | | | | Listening in turn invigorates and reshapes your own |
| of stupid, well, mooing. | | | | thoughts. If someone is shouting at you, hey, you |
| Shake hands. | | | | shout back in the same cliches you alway use to |
| Back in ancient high school, that long ago, I threw | | | | shout back. |
| discus and shotput. Hated losing, loved to win. Of | | | | Etiquette classes for all of us. |
| course we want our team to be the best, but isn't it | | | | What a chimera, etiquette classes for young athletes. |
| also in our national interest to field a team of | | | | How about this, then. Etiquette classes for all of us. |
| competitors who are exemplary offspring of that | | | | And every five years, a refresher course. Airline |
| responsible freedom we herald as mankind's highest | | | | pilots update their skills regularly. Rough weather, |
| ideal? Athletes as fair and generous in spirit as they | | | | emergency situations, drastic loss of altitude are no |
| are ruthless in competition? I'd send every athlete | | | | less frequent in the skies of day-to-day life and |
| who wants to represent his or her country to a | | | | updating the social skills to navigate through them |
| month of etiquette classes. This is how you shakes | | | | smoothly, graciously may not be such a bad idea. |
| hands. This is when you shake hands. OK, maybe not | | | | Thank you. |
| the most dazzling form of athletic dexterity, but | | | | Two words. One syllable each. We're not talking |
| essential nonetheless. Make the penalty for rotten | | | | elocutionary figure skating here. Simple, simple, simple. |
| behaviour severe. | | | | A handwritten note, into the envelope, on goes a |
| The Tipping Territory. | | | | stamp and you have sent a huge bouquet of goodwill |
| About passion, it's over, I think. At least as a | | | | into the world. Better yet, forget the stamp and just |
| euphemism for the simplistic one-track thinking, or | | | | tuck it under your wife's coffee cup. |