Compromised Positions

There is no denying that the sports business thesetempting to muse if the story was about some
days is awash in bright lights ...Quite often, though,incident after a play was 'long dead,' only a hardcore
the same can't be said for the people or practicesWinter Olympics maven would recognize that a
involved.The passage of time, the fading of originscoach for the headfirst sledding events is in some
and the constant superseding of slang can combinesort of trouble. The sleighs involved in that discipline
to cause some curious contemporary contexts.Toacquired the name 'skeleton' by a logic that was
start, have you ever really thought about howsimilar to that of the resultant term for putting a
pedantic the word 'quarterback' is? When theplayer a quarter of the way between the fullback
innovators who metamorphosed rugby into gridironand the center: the sled involved is literally a
football were telling players where to stand, it wasbare-bones equivalent of a bobsleigh or a luge, and
only logical to have someone placed all the waythe engineers must have gotten to it before the
behind the line called a 'fullback.' By then, soccermarketers did. Of course, if you've ever seen this
already had two defending positions which used thatsport in action, you could easily believe that its
term, so they surely provided the acceptable sportingmoniker was derived from what was left of an
frame of reference. For the gridiron game's foundingathlete if he ever lost control of his sled at
fathers to next place another player halfway70mph.Given the apparent discord between sports
between the fullback and the linemen and call him aterminology and the perception of those same words
'halfback' made sense, too. But, perhaps they overdidand phrases by the rest of the world, it's not
this theme by sticking a third player halfwaysurprising that sometimes, ordinary words can be a
between the halfback and the linemen and arriving atcause of confusion to those who have spent their
the unfortunately obvious titling conclusion.It onlylives in the sporting arena.In the late 1960s, two
figures that such a mathematically correct --- butformer gridiron football stars-turned-broadcasters ---
verbally clumsy --- location of a player would turn outNew York Giants great, Pat Summerall, and
to describe the most important position in the game.Philadelphia Eagles receiver, Tom Brookshier --- were
Any sports fan has heard that word a thousandcovering a game involving the Washington Redskins.
times and surely doesn't think twice anymore aboutAt the time, those two were better known for
what it means or how silly it sounds. The rest of thesocializing before the game than for preparing
salient world, though, is left to wonder what mindsthemselves for the broadcast. Brookshier, especially,
like those had named their kids.On the other hand,seemed to depend on the depth charts and player
the venerable game of cricket doesn't even think theprofiles laid before them in the booth, rather than
word 'silly' sounds silly. Players' positions in that gamedoing his own research.During the course of the
are also defined by their location, and they actuallygame, a kickoff came to a relatively unknown
have a series of spots called 'silly point,' 'silly mid-off'Redskin named Herb Mul-Key. He got a couple of key
and 'silly mid-on.' In this case, it's truth in advertising.initial blocks, found a seam and scampered for a
That's because they're placed so close to thesubstantial return. It definitely warranted a comment
batsman that solid contact from a full swing couldfrom the analyst, which was Brookshier's
result in serious bodily harm from a scorching linerole.However, he clearly didn't know anything about
drive, which means that someone would have to beHerb Mul-Key. All he could do was look for something
absolutely foolhardy to play there. Or, maybe justof note on the player-bio card, and he thought he
silly. (Just so you're aware that all cricketers aren'tfound something."I see," he announced, "that Mul-Key
that crazy, the 'silly' locations are only occupied whenwent to No-Knee College. I've never heard of that
the fielding team believes the batsman will only takeschool."Summerall's pause was extended. Finally, with
defensive swings to protect his wicket.)Certain topicssubtle exasperation, he finally made the correction."I
just weren't discussed in public a century ago. So, abelieve the word is 'None,' Tom."Brookshire was truly
gridiron position like 'tight end' or a rugby position likea man trapped in sports. I guess that meant, to him,
'hooker' never gave anyone a second thought. Thatthe cue card had something in common with the
was then. I'm assuming those athletes frame theirterm for another rugby position:It was a tight head
conversations with non-fans more carefullyprop.J Square Humboldt is the featured columnist at
now.There are times when even the sports mediathe Longer Life website, which is dedicated to
should think deeper about their choice of words.providing information, strategies, analysis and
Sports fans often have to do a double-take atcommentary designed to improve the quality of living.
headlines being thrust before them. Here's a recentHis page can be found at and his observations are
offering from ESPN.com:"Panel to Look at Claimspublished three times per week.
Against Skeleton Coach."While it might have been